


The Brockman Family Holiday

by UltraReview113



Category: Outnumbered
Genre: Ben - Freeform, Comedy, Fun, Holiday, Jake - Freeform, Karen - Freeform, Sue - Freeform, outnumbered - Freeform, pete - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 10:04:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20133661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltraReview113/pseuds/UltraReview113
Summary: Set in Series Two, between episodes three and four, this fanfiction documents the details of the Brockman’s family holiday to the Canary Islands. Will Grandad remember what’s going on? Will Pete and Sue keep control of Ben and Karen? Will Jo respond to Jake’s text messages? Will the family survive the stress of Ben controlling a pedalo? Read and find out!





	1. The Alarm Clock

Instead of the sound of an alarm clock, Pete and Sue awakened from the sound of their youngest son charging around on the landing, reenacting an ancient Egyptian sacrifice method. 

“Does he ever sleep?” Sue groaned, her face still essentially in the pillow.

“Probably not.” Pete said, raising his head to see what the time was. It was a quarter past four. They didn’t need to get up for another half an hour at least, but nothing was going to silence Ben’s enthusiasm.

Pete saw the bedroom door swing open, and Ben came walking through it.

“What are you doing awake? It so early, you should be asleep!” Pete scolded. He wasn’t happy about being woken up this early. 

“But I’m really excited for this holiday!” Ben cheered, a grin on his face that just spelt excitement. “When are we having breakfast Mummy?” 

“Ben, we’re not having breakfast until five at the earliest, go back to bed like your father said, or he will put you back to bed himself.” Sue said, he voice still slightly muffled by the pillow.

“Will I?” Pete asked, not willing to get out of bed this early, even if it was to put his son back to bed. Once he got up, he couldn’t go back. “Just play around quietly, we’ll get up in about 45 minutes.” Pete said to Ben, who darted back out, continuing whatever disturbing game he had been playing.

Mere seconds later, another figure emerged from the door.

“Mummy? Daddy?” The little tired voice of the Brockman’s youngest child spoke.

“What is it Karen?” Sue asked, finally lifting her head from the pillow.

“I can’t sleep, Ben’s scaring me...” Karen replied, taking a few steps closer to her parent’s bed.

“Ben!” Pete called out, “you’re scaring your sister!”

“Did you know that the Egyptians used to kill their servants, and they were buried with their masters, so they went to the afterlife together?” Ben asked, walking back into the room.

Seeing the clear discomfort on his daughter’s face, Pete tried to stop Ben’s ranting. “Ben, that’s enough.”

“They would do it by stabbing them brutally in the chest, and letting them bleed to death, sometimes they made them stab themselves.”

“Ben!” Sue yelled at her son.

“Sometimes they would tie them all together and lay them in a circle around their dead master.”

“Ben, enough! Go and watch the TV or something!” Pete instructed his son, who ran back out into the landing. Karen looked almost close to tears. She didn’t like being woken up, or having the thought of several dead Egyptian servants forming a ring around a dead Pharaoh. 

“Can I come in with you?” Karen’s quivering voice asked.

“Of course darling.” Sue said calmly, while Pete closed his eyes. Any chance of a bit more sleep was gone. Karen crawled in between Pete and Sue, leaning her head on Sue’s arm, while reaching for Pete’s hand, which Pete moved within Karen’s reaching distance. 

Although she was high maintenance, Pete couldn’t deny that she was really cute at this point in time. She was just happy to be there, she wasn’t asking questions, or writing a letter to Gordon Brown, or explaining how babies were made over a Sainsbury’s microphone, she was just cuddling. 

Pete’s temporary moment of bliss was cut short by the sound of a deafening roar and the squirt of a ketchup bottle. He could already picture what Ben was doing. 

“Can’t you two shut him up?” A voice was heard calling across the hall, “he’s your son and your responsibility!” 

“Good morning to you too Jake!” Sue called back.

“Sarcasm!” Ben shouted from the landing.

“Look if you don’t shut up I’m gonna make you, you stupid little- “ Jake was cut off in the middle of his sentence, and the sound of the ketchup bottle being squeezed and making contact with a person replaced Jake’s speech. That sound was followed by some incomprehensible yelling, and the sound of Ben being rugby tackled, still squirting ketchup at Jake.

Pete jumped out of bed, and made a beeline for the two boys. “Bloody hell! That is enough!” Pete shouted at his two sons, pulling Jake off from on top of Ben. Before he could say anything, he saw Jake’s face, almost completely drenched in ketchup. Then Pete noticed Jake’s pyjamas, which were also drenched in ketchup. Then, Pete’s eyes turned to the walls, and the doors, and the carpet... and the ceiling, which was causing ketchup to rain down like some kind of tomato storm. Pete grabbed the ketchup off of Ben before he was the next to be decorated red. Turning to Jake, who was conveniently standing next to the bathroom, Pete merely opened the door and motioned for Jake to enter, which he did, slamming the door behind him. “Ben, just, go and watch telly like I told you.” Ben ran downstairs, continuing his Egyptian sacrifice game. 

Just as Pete was about to go back into his room, figuring he could ask a housekeeper to clean it up for them, he heard the noise of his father in law walking towards the ketchup cataclysm. 

“Morning Frank.” Pete said, calmly, hoping he wouldn’t notice the ketchup.

Grandad took one look at the scene in front of him, and asked; “Has someone passed a kidney stone in the hall?” 

Slightly confused that that was where Grandad’s mind went when he saw ketchup everywhere, Pete replied softly by saying; “No, Frank. Why don’t you go and have a nice cup of tea, and take your pain killers. We’ll be heading to the airport at about seven.” 

“Alright then,” Grandad replied, doing his best to manoeuvre the ketchup streaks, and singing an army song his regiment used to sing in the Korean War. 

Pete slumped back down into bed, the sound of the shower, Grandad’s singing and Ben’s deafening war cries weren’t exactly the most soothing sounds in the world, but he was surprised that when he looked over towards his wife and daughter, she saw them both peacefully asleep, Karen still resting her head on her mother’s arm. Pete shuffled over, wrapping his arms around them, resting his head on the pillow behind him, and closing his eyes.

Then the alarm clock went off. 

“Well... family holiday, here we come.” Pete groaned, getting up to make his family breakfast.

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. The Car Journey

“Right Ben,” Pete began, pulling his youngest son aside from the others, “when we get to the airport, there is to me no mention of guns, bombs, drugs or sharp objects. We all remember what happened at Heathrow a couple of years ago don’t we?”

Ben nodded his head. Even he didn’t want to be held in an interrogation room while his family were being put in handcuffs again. He was probably off the blacklist by now.

“Good, now, some of us are still tired, so try and take it easy in the car, okay?” Pete asked, pleading to God for his son to just calm down for once, and not make this car journey like the one to Centre Parcs.

Ben smiled cheekily and nodded. There was no chance of Ben controlling his energy, ever. But Pete seemed to fall for it. 

“Good lad, now go and sit in the car.” Ben sprinted out of the door. “And make sure you put the seatbelt on properly this time!” Pete called after him. 

Simultaneously, his wife walked down the stairs, with the last suitcase being dragged behind her.

“That everything?” Pete asked.

“Yes.” Sue answered, looking nervous, which Pete picked up on.

“What’s wrong?” Pete enquired, worried that they’d forgotten to do something.

“No, it’s just... I’m worried about Dad coming with us.”

“Oh, Sue...”

“You know how confused he can get, and I don’t want him to make another episode, not like the day trip to the Imperial War Museum.”

“But that wasn’t that bad?”

“He thought he was back in Korea!” Sue all but yelled back, “he saw that poor Asian lady and asked her if she was on the enemy’s side and if she had a tattoo of Kim Il-Sung!”

“Okay!” Pete interrupted his wife, trying to stop this endless rant. “Listen. Everything will be fine. It’s just a week in the Canary Islands, he’ll find it very peaceful, and he seems very aware of what’s going on. If you’re worried, one of us can stay behind with your Dad, and the other can take the kids to do some activities. We’ll draw up a rota when we get there.”

Sue nodded, knowing her husband was right. “We’ll figure it out.” She said.

Pete kissed her and pulled her into a hug. 

“Jesus, get a room.” Jake said, walking into the doorway. “You might wanna get out to the car. Grandad’s completely forgotten what’s going on and Ben’s tangled Karen up in seatbelts.”

Without hesitation, Pete and Sue darted out to the car, Sue going for her Dad, Pete going for the kids, Jake leaning on the front gate for the situation to end.

“Ben!” Pete shouted, opening the car door, the sight of Karen suspended in the air, three seatbelts intricately placed around the young girl which enabled this suspension. Pete was more impressed than anything else. “For God’s sake! Karen don’t wiggle just stay calm!” Karen was all but screaming bloody murder. 

“Dad? Everything okay?” Sue asked, bending down to be eye level with her Dad.

“We’re in a car at 6:45, where are we going?” Grandad asked, clearly distressed.

“We’re going to the airport, Dad.” Sue answered, trying to remain as calm as possible. “Remember? We’re going to the Canary Islands! For a week in the sun!” 

“Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember. It’s just these kids making a lot of noise, I got very confused.” 

“Don’t worry Dad, that’s okay.” Sue said, rubbing her Dad’s hand soothingly. Looking into the back, Sue saw Pete untangling the last seatbelt from Karen, while trying to restrain Ben from Jake at the same time. 

“A little help?” Pete asked, giving Sue a look which communicated the immense stress he was under. 

“You just stay there Dad, I’ll be back in a second.” Sue said, jumping up and running towards the cluster of people by the back of the car. “Boys! Boys stop it and sit in the bloody car!” Sue screamed, sending chills down the spine of anyone who heard it. “Pete, a quick word.”

Ben, Jake and Karen sat in the back of the car, Karen separating the two boys. 

“I think one of us should sit in the back with Ben and Karen, then Jake should be in the front with one of us and Dad.” Sue said, seeking her husband’s input.

Pete looked towards the back of the car, where he could see Ben and Jake trying to wrestle each other on top of Karen.

“I think that’s probably best.” Pete answered, darting for the car again. “Right, Jake, get out and get in the front! Ben, sit down and be quiet!” The children obeyed, and Pete sat in the back, while Sue sat in the front at the drivers seat.

“Everyone ready?” Sue asked, sounds of agreement coming from all over the car. “Well, then, let’s go for a week in the sun!” Sounds of cheering started as the car started up and pulled out into the road.

Karen, who still looked very tired, crawled under her Dad’s arm, and laid her head on his stomach, closing her eyes. Pete pulled a small blanket they kept in the car out from under his seat, and placed it over Karen. She was asleep in seconds.

“Why isn’t she texting back?” Jake groaned from the front.

“She probably isn’t even awake yet, text her in a couple of hours or something.” Sue said, trying to set the SATNAV to Gatwick.

Pete sighed. He knew his oldest son had fallen for his girl, he remembered being the same, batting way out of his league. This Jo was intelligent, witty, musical, sporty, pretty, and he couldn’t see how Jake would keep up with her. Of course he had high hopes for Jake, but Jake enjoyed the simple life, telly, football and Chinese food. Jake was naturally rather introverted as well, while Jo seemed to be the most popular girl in Jake’s class. He might think he knows what he wants, but what he was chasing might drag him into a teenage depression. Pete wanted their relationship to stay at friends. 

“Dad?” Ben began, Pete instantly dreading the conclusion to the question his son was about to ask. “Will our plane be shot down by the Taliban?”

“No Ben.” Pete answered, wondering how his son even knew about the Taliban, before he remembered how he thought Ben was asleep when he was watching the documentary about George Bush. “The Taliban are in a country called Afghanistan, which is a long way away from here and the Canary Islands.” 

“The Japanese could shoot it down.” Grandad chimed in.

“That’s very unlikely Frank.” Pete answered.

“Why is it all doom and gloom with you lot this morning?” Sue said, trying to brighten up the conversation. “We’re going away! We’re going to a place where there will be no terrorists, or kamikaze attacks, or radical Islamic Jihadists, it’ll just be us as a family!”

“You’re really cringy.” Jake said, giving his mother a look of confusion and embarrassment, before turning back to his phone.

The car was quiet for a few more minutes, before Grandad started to sing another Korean War song.

“Dad! Dad!” Sue tried to interrupt her father, who eventually turned to look at her. “Karen’s trying to sleep in the back, so if we could hold the singing until we arrive, that’d be great.” Grandad nodded his head, fished a book out of his bag, and started to read.

“Stalingrad. That’s more like it. Perfect.” Grandad said, almost sounding like he was looking forward to reading about a five month long battle that cost thousands upon thousands of lives. Needless to say it spawned some strange looks from within the car.

After another half an hour of relative quiet, with Jake focused on texting, Grandad making the occasional remark about the war, Karen shuffling around to get comfortable, Ben asking random questions about science, history, and the legitimacy of General Gaddafi’s Libyan regime, and Pete’s, often rather blunt, answer, Karen began to stir.

“Where are we Daddy?” Karen asked, yawning as she lifted her head up slightly.

“We’re going to be at the airport in about five minutes.” Pete responded, igniting a sound of jubilation within Ben. “You seem very excited Ben? You didn’t really want to go on this holiday a couple of weeks ago?”

“No, but then I googled the Canary Islands, and I found out there’s a lot of volcanoes!”

“Well, yeah that’s true. One of the days we’re actually going to the base of a volcano which has been turned into a museum about how volcanoes work- “

“Can it erupt while we’re there?” Ben asked, bouncing up and down in his seat like a kangaroo who seriously needs the toilet.

“I don’t think it’s an active volcano, Ben...” Pete answered, slowly, concerned about how his son was looking forward to a potential eruption.

“It would be really cool! We could all get special surfboards, and ride the lava streams out into the ocean, then have all the volcanic rock fall all around us, while we look back at the island being crushed by ash and boiling hot rocks!” Ben looked more hyper than ever, this was clearly something he was desperate for to happen.

“Well, if we’re lucky!” Pete said, not really sure how to respond to his child’s masochistic hopes.

“Are the volcanoes going to explode while we’re there?” Karen asked, clearly very concerned.

“No, of course not sweetheart.” Sue said, trying to reassure her daughter.

“Do you know 100%?” Karen asked, seeking very clear clarification. 

“Well we don’t exactly know 100%...” Pete began, before being cut off by Karen.

“So they could explode! And we would all be killed by all the lava and rocks and smoke!”

“First of all, it’s called an eruption, and second the ash would kill you before the lava ever reached you, have you never seen a volcano before you idiot?” Ben shouted at his sister, sounding almost offended that she didn’t know the exact terminology for volcanoes.

“I’m not an idiot!” Karen yelled, trying to crawl over to her brother to smack him, Pete restraining her, a shouting match starting as a result.

“What’s going on?” Grandad asked, and continued to ask Sue similar questions about the current goings on.

“She’s still not answering!” Jake complained, before going into a rant about how frustrated he was about Jo not answering his texts.

Sue simply couldn’t take it. It was 7:32am, she had had five hours of sleep, and she was driving her unusually noisy family to Gatwick at the start of a half term break, and everyone else would be having the exact same idea, and now the shouting and screaming had started, Sue had had enough.

“SHUT UP! OR I’LL TURN THIS BLOODY CAR AROUND!” Sue screamed at the top of her lungs, silencing everyone. “Now let’s all stay calm. If you were paying attention, you would notice that we have just got to find a parking space, and then we can go and check in, so can we please stop and try to enjoy the first phase of the family holiday?”

There was still silence, but nods were exchanged. 

“Good.” Sue exclaimed, before returning her full focus to the road, where she was just in time to see the oncoming car. 

Sue swerved to avoid the car, but was too late, and the car bumped into them, completely taking out the rear right indicator. 

“Oh bugger not again.” Pete sighed, his head entering his hands. “This is the third time we’ve had an accident at Gatwick. The third bloody time. Family holiday starting well then.”

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. The Ramp Incident

The automatic doors slide open, revealing Gatwick airport to the Brockman’s.

“So you’ll do all of that with the insurance company?” Sue asked Pete.

“Yes.” Pete answered coldly, still very frustrated with the situation.

Without hesitation, Ben sprinted off in the direction of the trolleys.

“Ben! BEN!” Sue shouted, her calling doing nothing to slow her second child. “Jake, go after him will you?” 

Jake stumbled after him, still half asleep and moaning about how he was in the middle of texting.

“Aren’t you a bit concerned about him?” Pete asked his wife.

“Why would I be concerned?” Sue asked, confused as to why he asked.

“Aren’t you a bit concerned that he’s putting all his eggs in one basket with this Jo girl? He’s more sensitive than he’d let anyone know and if things don’t work out, it could have a serious affect on his mental health.”

“Well, the reliance there is a slight concern, but I think he just has to figure it out for himself. Part of growing up is discovering your emotions.”

“I just don’t want him to get hurt.” Pete said, his genuine concern showing.

“I know.” Sue responded, pulling her husband into a hug, “He will be fine. He’s a confident boy, he’s got a lot of friends, it’s all part of the learning curve.”

Pete nodded his head, and then wondered how Sue was so knowledgeable on this issue. “Mums.net?” He asked, knowing he could declare a small victory here.

“Yep.” Sue answered. “Anyway let’s get on, all! Ben and Jake are coming with the trolley and then we can check in!” 

Then, a deafening war cry emerged from around a corner, causing the windows to rattle, and all of a sudden Ben emerged, charging at maximum speed. No one could move, petrified in fear, as the young child ran full throttle with the heavy metal trolley.

Not far from the entrance, there was a Hot Wheels display, featuring supersized cars, and a big ramp. Ben’s face lit up when this fell into his field of vision, and he altered his course in order to use the ramp. Upon leaving the ramp, Ben was able to spin the trolley twice in the air, and landed at least 10 feet away from the ramp. 

Seeing someone in his immediate trajectory, Ben shouted; “Look out lady, I can’t stop!” 

Unfortunately, Ben’s high speed joy ride was cut short, as the trolley half collided with and half fell on the woman who was standing in Ben’s path, knocking her down, an audible crack being heard.

“Oh my God!” Sue cried, while Pete dashed over to her. Jake was finally able to catch up with Ben, who gave the trolley up without too much of a fight.

“I am so, so sorry!” Pete said to the woman on the floor, who was visibly in a great deal of pain. “Ben, what were you doing?”

For the first time, Ben looked on the verge of tears. While he had a buoyant and energetic exterior, internally he was very caring and sensitive. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he always managed to one way or another. It made him feel upset and confused on a regular basis.

“I’m sorry...” Ben whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek, before he ran off in another direction, probably to hide from the embarrassment. Sue and Pete exchanged looks, and when Sue went to go after Ben, to half scold, half console him, Karen pulled on her mother‘s arm. 

“I’ll go.” She said, with great confidence, marching very quickly in the general direction of Ben.

She found Ben a couple of minutes later, tucked away behind a vending machine. She crawled in next to him, and pulled him into a hug. Ben was slightly confused, because his sister never showed any kind of affection to him, ever, but he was in desperate need of this hug, so didn’t question it too much.

“Are you okay?” She asked him, calmly.

“No.” Ben replied, tears still streaming. Karen was shocked just as much as Ben was. Ben was always so carefree, which usually led to reckless behaviour. His sensitive side shone through in different ways, so to see him in a breakdown like this was new territory. “I can’t do anything good, Karen. I always mess it up somehow. I’m useless...”

“You’re not useless!” Karen assured him, her grip tightening. “You try and do good things, and sometimes they don’t work. But you do lots and lots of good things! Like the time where those boys were trying to steal my biscuits in the playground, you came and helped me.”

“They still stole your biscuits though...” Ben said, another tear rolling down his cheek.

“But it was the thought that counted.” Karen replied, looking her big brother in the eye. “Don’t cry Ben, it makes me want to cry. You shouldn’t have used the trolley-thingy like that, and Mummy and Daddy are going to tell you that when we get back.”

“I know.” Ben said, starting to regain composure.

“Come on, you know what Mummy’s like when there’s not a lot of time to do things.” Karen said, pulling her big brother up, and planting a kiss on his cheek, giving him a quick hug, before dragging him off back to the adults.

Ben was stunned by Karen’s display of affection for him. He’d hardly ever seen her show affection to Pete and Sue, let alone him or Jake. It made a nice change, though!

“How is she?” Sue asked Pete as he walked back from a small medical room in the airport. 

“She’ll need crutches. But she’s letting us off the hook, thank God.” Pete replied, a look of frustration in his eyes.

Karen returned with Ben, and just as Sue was about to open her mouth to tell Ben off, Karen stopped her.

“I’ve already told Ben what he needs to hear, he knows what he did was wrong and he won’t do it again. Now, let’s not miss the plane.” Karen said, picking up her bag and placing it on the trolley.

Pete and Sue looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, then packed up the trolley, and made their way into the airport proper.


End file.
